Dreams....

So I had this really wierd dream last night. I can't remember exactly right now what it was about, I did remember this morning, but it has disappeared from my memory. I do remember one thing, I was in the dream, I could see myself. I could see the thinner me! I have been having trouble seeing the thinner me. I have dropped 47lbs since January 2008 and for some reason I can't see it.

I walk past a mirror or a window, sometimes stop, and look. I don't see it. The voice inside my head says "LOOK, your ass is disappearing!" I think my inner voice is dillusional. I just don't see it. I know it's happening. My clothes are way too big, I am wearing a size 20 and everyone is now noticing. But for me, cause I look at me everyday, I don't see it.

I notice that I am smaller when it comes to sitting in chairs with arms. I notice I am smaller by how much further away from the steering wheel I am. I notice I am smaller when I try to reach around me and I can.

So Tuesday night I went to the gym and joined! I am proud of me! I don't think that when the weather turns cold I will continue walking the way I have been. Every night that I do walk, right afterwards, I get in the car and go and get a coffee, so I figure why wouldn't I drive to the gym and then get a coffee. I can do this!

While I was there signing up for the membership, my inner voice piped in "Come on, go for the personal training!""Look at that flab!""How ya gonna get rid of that?" So against better judgement I did it! I now have a personal trainer. It's not going to be a bad thing. I need to have someone motivating me. I CAN DO THIS!!!!

I am waiting to hear when my first session with her will be, but till then I am going to the gym for the first time tonight and will walk the treadmill and then perhaps try the eliptical. I CAN DO THIS!

Cheers!